Image by Jack Batchelor via FlickrI haven't written much lately. I could say that I haven't had much to write but that wouldn't be true. There has been so much to say. At first I couldn't find the words. Then I think I didn't want to. I think there was some fear as well. Still is.
Things are changing. I can feel it. But what frightens me is that I have felt this before. I have gotten excited. I have given myself over to the anticipation. I have allowed myself to hope. Only to wake up one day and find that everything is the same. Worse - I.am.the.same.
I am the same miserable creature I was before.
Nobody who has not been tried knows how difficult it is; but whoever has come well out of it, and those who do not overcome never do come out of it, always looks back with horror, not on what she has come through, but on the very idea of the possibility of having failed, and being still the same miserable creature as before. (George MacDonald, The Wise Woman)That is my fear.
So much going on under the surface which I would have to admit is a direct result of the 31 dayers I am following:
Critty Joy is Becoming.
Kristen is Living in the Now.
Bonnie is Feeding the Soul.
Emily is Changing the World
Annie is Writing.
Visit. They might change you too.
I wonder at times if those times when we feel like things are changing, and we feel hopeful....and then it seems as if everything is the same...if really something small shifted inside of us...just a tiny bit...so that the next change comes...and then the next change comes...and those tiny shifts turn into something more. I am so guilty of wanting God to just do big things. I am slowly realizing the tiny shifts over time add up and matter just as much as those bigger things. Maybe tiny shifts are happening within you Kristine. And one day? They will come together as a big thing and you will see it :) I am so enjoying all of these other 31 dayers. So much good stuff being written. God moving all over the blog world...it's so cool!
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