Summoned Before the King

Image by Nicholas Siegrist via Flickr

Recently, I pulled out my old journals. In one I found a piece that I suppose I wrote. It reveals something very close to my heart. It is not unlike a story I was writing years ago, but abandoned when I could not write the journey - only the need and the conclusion. My greatest stumbling block to being a writer (a fiction writer) is that I don't know how to write a plot. The piece was strange to read. Almost like it was written by someone else.

Today, I was summoned before the King.

He had a mission for me. I had to go out and find my Self, my Heart. I had to discover what He had created me to be. Before He sent me out, He gave me precious gifts that I was to use to protect the gifts I had already been given.

First, I received a breastplate of the strongest metal ever made. This would shield my heart from lies and deceit. It was a aegis of Truth. As long as I kept it on, nothing could wound my heart that was false. The breastplate bore the symbols of a scroll and a unicorn to reflect the duality that has always raged within my heart.

For my arms and legs, I received great armor of Self-Worth. I've always been underestimated, not the least by myself. I cannot fault others for holding me back if I never allow myself to reach for more. And weakness in me steams from my own disbelief in my own natural abilities. When I start seeing how far I've come, how much I've changed, everyone else will too.

My head holds everything I know, all that I've learned and discovered, but it is still vulnerable to the world's opinions. Consequently, the King granted me a helm of Judgement so that all of my knowledge and wisdom was protected by firm beliefs in Right and Wrong. Only by discernment can I truly protect myself from all that the world and my Enemy sends my way.

To supplement all this, I received a shield of Courage and Strength. Armed with Truth, Self-Worth and Judgement, I will finally be able to use Strength and Courage in this journey ahead. All this I received from my King to protect my heart, body, and soul. But it was not enough.

Having provided all the protection I would ever need, my King gave me one more gift.  He said that it was not enough to only be protected. I also must fight the Evil that rages against me. He gave me a weapon. The greatest weapon of all. He gave me Love - against which no on can stand. I will survive. I will find what I am looking for. I will fight. I will be His Warrior Princess as I was created to be. 

This search for Self has been on my heart since I was healthy enough to start dreaming of the future. When I use the term Self I do not mean that part of me that wants control. I mean the part of me that makes me who I am. The part of me that is suppose to help me figure out what I am supposed to do with my life.

Please forgive the big words [we call them my fancy English major words]. I am too Anne Shirley for my own good.